Four Steps to Being Born Again: Counting the Cost and Confession

In the first article regarding steps to being born again, I examined repentance and seeking. If you are involved in evangelism, please take the time to read the first article or watch the video as it is extremely important to understand the role of repentance and seeking.

In this article we will discuss counting the cost and confession, two equally important steps. In the first video I pointed out that God does not expect someone to trust Him without first knowing that he is trustworthy. I gave the example of the Exodus from Egypt to Canaan. God brought the Israelites out of Egypt with incredible acts of His power, plagues and the deaths of the firstborn of Egypt. He led them through the Red Sea, fed them with mana and quail, gave them the law at Sinai, and even showed them that they could defeat the mighty Amelikites, and then they arrived at the banks of the Jordan and sent in the spies.

It was after hearing the report of the spies that the Israelites were faced with trusting God, with counting the cost of trusting Him.

When the Jews heard about the giants in the land of Canaan they were afraid to trust God. That was their cost. They were afraid that they would die, they were afraid to put their lives completely into the Lord’s hands. They turned away, and God swore an oath in His anger. He swore that none of those 20 years old and over would ever enter the Promised Land. 

He was so angry that He was going to destroy that unbelieving generation immediately, but Moses changed His mind (Numbers 13). Those adults who refused to trust Him remained alive, but none of them ever entered the Promised Land, only their children. Every person 20 and over died in the desert, and then God brought their children back to the same place and offered them the same opportunity.

Only two men from that original one million - only Joshua and Caleb - entered the Promised Land, the rest died in the desert. Only two were willing to trust God with their lives. The whole story is both real history and an analogy of salvation.  

Counting the cost is always a matter of trust and submission of our autonomy. It is the Spirit of God who led us to repent, the Spirit who motivated us to seek. 

In fact, without God we wouldn't even begin the process, however, there comes a point at which we must step forward and trust. God does not force His will upon us; there must be a decision to trust, for that is the essence of faith. God calls us to trust in His Lordship, His authority over every area of our future lives. For many, this demand is simply too much and too scary. 

In Luke 14:25-33 Jesus gave two examples of counting the cost. From verses 28-30 He speaks of building a tower, laying the foundation, and not being able to complete it. What did He mean?  Those who through the Spirit’s conviction have come to understand their slavery to sin, also know that they have never had the power to keep a New Year’s resolution, or change their own stony heart. The fear they have is ‘what if I try to be a disciple, make a public confession, and then have no power over my slavery to sin, and fail as a Christian’. 

This is the very heart of the matter of active faith which must be exercised for regeneration. We must, by faith, confess, I do not have the power to live for you, but I surrender my self-will to you in faith, trusting you to give me the strength to live in your will. If we take this step of faith, Christ will destroy the root of sin and we will ‘become partakers of the divine nature and be given his divine power, and everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness’ (2 Peter 1:3-4). 

There are those who come to this moment who are living in fornication, or know they may be ostracized from family, or are in a homosexual or adulteress relationship. Christ is commanding, follow me, but the lover isn’t following, they are going in the opposite direction. Christ, after showing us our sin, commands, yes, commands us to walk away from that sin and trust Him for our future. For many, that is a step too far.

Some teach that such a step is not necessary…just believe and live any way you like. Jesus disagrees, and He will not submit to our self rule or standards of morality. There must be a death to our self rule, we must surrender to Him as King of Kings which is the subject of Jesus’ second analogy from verses 31-33. 

The second analogy from Luke 14 is in the context of war and ends with the words ‘in the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have, cannot be my disciple’. In the analogy, there are two kings. One king is more powerful than the other, and Jesus asks, won’t the king with less men sit down and consider if he can win this war, he has to ‘count the cost’. 

Before we are born again we are enemies of God (Colossians 1:21) and must make peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ (Romans 5:1). If we continue to rebel, in the end we will be destroyed because, even though the Lord is forgiving, loving and merciful beyond measure, and has even taken the punishment for our rebellion upon Himself, there is no place for His enemies in His eternal kingdom.

In a war, one party must surrender, must lay down their arms, end the rebellion, and submit to the other. In this war between Creator and creature, it is the creature which must surrender. But in that surrender God always gives mercy, always forgives and pours out His love on that person, fills them with His divine nature and sets them on a path of freedom and immortality. And the surrender must be an unconditional surrender, for there is nothing we can give in exchange for our soul. 

In Jesus’ analogy, we are the little king who cannot win the war, and the conditions for peace are, ‘giving up everything we have’. If we refuse to do this, we remain in rebellion and cannot be His disciple, His subject, or His beloved child.

What is the cost of salvation? Everything! We can do nothing to earn our salvation because we have nothing worth giving to pay for it, but salvation can never be tacked on to your own life. In order to be born again, a person has to be willing to first die, not in a physical sense, but in leaving their dead life behind. We take the Lord’s hand by faith, trusting solely in Him for our future, the future He has planned for us. 

Sadly, there are few evangelists that teach this vital doctrine, and then wonder why their 'converts' are weak, powerless, and still living in sinful relationships. It is the Lord who decides when we are ready to be born again, and unless He regenerates us, we will still be living absent the indwelling Holy Spirit and continue to be powerless over sin.

We can only be born again if we 'count the cost', are ready to walk away from our old life and trust in Christ as our Lord and Savior. Paul called it 'crucified with Christ' (Galatians 2:20), Jesus called it 'taking up your cross'. Paul also said, 'if we have died with Christ we will live with Him' (Romans 6:8), and 'you died and your life is hidden in Christ' (Colossians 3:3).

The step of counting the cost is the point at which we surrender our life, our autonomy to Jesus Christ. At that moment we are joined with Him, His death and resurrection become ours, His sacrifice for our sins becomes the means by which God's grace is experienced as a reality in our hearts. 

Counting the cost may frighten us, just as the Jews were frightened to enter Canaan when they saw the fierce inhabitants of that land. God is holding out His hands, asking us to take them and trust Him for our future. Hopefully, during the process of seeking, we have come to realize how trustworthy He is, and like Joshua and Caleb, we are ready to put our lives in His hands.

4. Step four is confession (Romans 10:9-10). 

After you’ve given your life to Christ and received the Holy Spirit you need to confess this. No one can be a secret Christian. This may mean losing your friends and family support - at least temporarily.  Jesus promised us suffering and persecution; He said the world will hate us. Jesus commanded that we confess our surrender to Him as Lord and Savior, both through word of mouth and water baptism. 

The latter is both confession and a symbol of that spiritual coffin we stepped into, a symbol of our death and resurrection as adopted sons and daughters of God, citizens of heaven and strangers in this world. What has happened to us in the spiritual realm is demonstrated in the material realm.

And finally, a few words about what happens after you are born again. 

If you have been born again your life will change, dramatically. Firstly, the Holy Spirit will witness with your spirit that you are God’s child (Romans 8:16, Galatians 4:6) Then, your new Lord will start making you whole, because salvation means wholeness. Old habits will begin to fall away and new habits will grow. You will become acutely aware of your old sinful habits, and the process of being transformed in your mind (Romans 12:1-2) will begin to take place.  

In general terms, being born again comes with the following changes.

1. Newborn Christians always have a hunger for God's word (1st Peter 2:2). When the Holy Spirit enters a person He puts this hunger within them. That hunger may change as Scripture becomes a part of us, but it is always there at the beginning.

2. The newborn falls in love with Christ. He becomes their 'first love', the One they love more than all those listed in Luke 14 (father, mother, brothers, sisters, wives, children, etc.). If neglected, this love may fade over time, but can be renewed through 'daily taking up our cross'.

3. The newborn begins to produce the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5: 22-24). These fruits cannot be produced without the Holy Spirit. A person who is not born again may try and live a better life, and even have a limited success for a while, but without their old nature being crucified (v 24) they will always fail, as they are still captive to sin. Jesus said that by their fruits we will know a true Christian. If there is no fruit, then there was no salvation. God intends for us to be conformed to the likeness of His Son (Romans 8:29).

Finally, let me say again. I believe that no man has the right to tell someone they are born again simply because the person 'repented' of something or prayed a 'sinner's prayer'. 

We do not know the hearts of people. We do not know if they are surrendering all, and more importantly, we never have the authority to order the Holy Spirit to enter a person's body and soul. The Holy Spirit is not some divine energy, He is the third person of the Trinity, He is the Sovereign Lord. He will not enter until the person is ready to die, ready to be crucified with Christ. 

He will convict them to repent, He will motivate them to seek with all their hearts, He will open their eyes to the love, grace, faithfulness and trustworthiness of The Father, and help them understand why Jesus was sacrificed for sin, and He will wait until they count the cost and surrender all. When He enters and takes up residence, they will know.

It is Jesus Christ who must tell the person they are born again. His sheep know His voice. If a person has been born again it will be obvious. 

You will not have to drag them to church, you will not have to order them to read Scripture and pray, rather, they will be filled with joy and a desire to serve the One who lives within them. I believe that all who are born again hear the voice of their Lord as He leads by His Spirit. If the voice is absent, then the Lord is not dwelling within. 

May the Lord bless you in your sharing the gospel. 

Steve Copland