Accountability or Independence: A Biblical Definition of Child
I. Introduction
In my video entitled ‘Are your Children Saved’, we explored Paul’s instructions to Christian parents regarding children. The apostle considered children to be under the old covenant commands (Ephesians 6, Colossians 3) and sanctified if having one believing parent (I Corinthians 7). God has put in place a chain of authority which modern western evangelists are ignoring and destroying children’s lives in the process. In this video/article we will examine two issues which are vitally important regarding a biblical definition of child so that we can understand God’s view. In other words, when does a child cease to be a child?
Why do I say this is vitally important? Recent statistics from coldcasechristianity show that of evangelical protestant children who were baptized as believers prior to age 17, 81% deny Christianity and declare themselves atheist or agnostic by age 25-30. This confirms to me that present day forms of child evangelism are in reality, inoculating children from a real, life-long experience of knowing Jesus Christ. In this video we will answer the following questions.
1. Does Scripture recognize cognitive development in children? This question is specifically related to how children believe.
2. At what age does God consider a person to be old enough to be born again, that is, a partaker of the divine nature, and answerable solely to Him?
II. Cognitive Development
Children do not and cannot think like adults, indeed it is impossible for them to do so. The apostle Paul recognized the difference in speaking, thinking and reasoning between children and adults.
‘When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. (1 Corinthians 13:11)’
In the past 40-50 years a great deal of research has been done in the area of understanding the stages of human development, and especially, cognitive development in children. Jean Piaget (1896-1980) was a pioneer in this area, proposing four stages of development which have been analyzed and built on now that psychologists have the advantage of scanning the human brain and identifying the connections of specific neurons to the frontal cortex, a process which is completed at age 18-19. For those who wish to study this in more depth. http://www.healthofchildren.com/C/Cognitive-Development.html
The science behind understanding how the human brain develops is complex and ongoing, however, our increasing understanding in this area could be described in simple terms as follows.
1. The ability to reason and apply logic is absent in babies as there are few if any neurons connected to the frontal cortex of the brain where reasoning occurs. Babies use their basic senses; sight, touch, smell, taste and hearing. They react through their senses. Until the age of 4-5 years, most children may have a simple understanding of right and wrong, but do not understand the logic behind these terms. At this stage of a child's life it is impossible for them to understand the difference between fantasy and reality, and for this reason, they will believe in tooth fairies, Santa Claus and crocodiles under the bed. By the age of 5, generally speaking, the most commonly used word is 'why' as they are beginning to develop the ability to reason and question everything.
2. From age 5-9 we begin to understand not just what is real, but what is possible. Neurons are now beginning to connect to the frontal cortex where rational thought is produced. Children at this age want an explanation for everything around them, they are not satisfied with simple statements of fact. The wise parent takes the time to give simple and clear answers which help this process. Our development moves along well from 9-12. Children at this age have no problem believing in God, but not in the way an adult does.
For the 10 year old, God is an invisible person their parents believe in and speak to, but understanding concepts such as faith, trust and being a disciple are beyond them. Keep in mind that at this age a child has already rejected fairy tales and invisible myths, therefore speaking of the invisible attributes of God must be presented in a wise manner so that a child can differentiate. But most importantly, through these years a child begins to gain knowledge of themselves as a 'Self', an individual. There is a strong desire to try things for themselves.
3. When we turn 13 everything changes. The introduction of hormones has an incredibly dramatic effect on a young brain. The teenage brain is like an old telephone switchboard. On one side all the hormones and emotions are plugged in, and on the other, some logic and reasoning plugs. Hormones affect almost every area of our developing brain. Scientists often call it the 'emotional minefield', and from 13-17 we are ruled by powerful emotions in 4 areas.
A. Self Consciousness. Our Changing body
Our bodies change so fast that many teens find it difficult to keep up. At 13-14 we have new hair growing in private places, pimples and acne, muscles or breasts, growing pains or period pains. We compare ourselves with other teens because we are not sure if we're normal or not. Our bodies seem to be out of our control and we easily become obsessed with trying to keep up with the rapid changes.
B. Emotional Extremes
Emotions such as infatuation, anger and frustration are extreme as a young teen. Parents are telling you to do homework and not worry about what people think, and you're more concerned about this huge pimple on your nose. Teens fall in love and it's so intense they believe that no one ever born has felt like they do. And if we discover the other person doesn't want us, we think the world is going to end. We may also feel isolated, angry and frustrated because we believe adults don't understand us. We feel so much pressure to perform and conform that these emotions can turn to depression, self harm, and even suicidal thoughts.
Unfortunately, some evangelicals see this vulnerable and turbulent time in a young teen’s life as an opportunity to press them into saying a ‘sinner’s prayer’ with the promise that after this everything will be okay. Others convince gullible parents that all of this teenage confusion is demonic activity and the teen needs deliverance. What the teen actually needs is a parent or guardian to explain what is actually happening in the teen’s life, that this is completely natural, and to walk with the teen through this period with loving support and understanding. I have often taken a group of teens through the issues of cognitive development and witnessed both the relief of realizing that they are normal, and renewed confidence to trust in the Lord with the expectation that he is preparing them for a complete surrender to Him when He decides they are ready.
C. Consequences of Actions
Teens take risks, and often extreme risks, because they cannot fully balance intense emotion with rational thought. Even at mid-teen years (15-17) there are a lot fewer neurons connected to the logic centers of our brains compared to age 18-20 when this development is completed. This means that teens often act before they think, and just as often, this is peer pressure. Teens do dangerous challenges to feel accepted by their peers as they are still developing a full sense of their own identity. This is one of the most difficult and frustrating times for parents.
They are continually asking their teens, "what were you thinking", and "you need to think before you act", and "do you not realize how dangerous that was", "stop and think before you do such stupid things." But most teens are simply unaware of why they don't think about consequences. Emotions and hormones, peer pressure and the need to be accepted, drive them, and their ability to evaluate consequences is underdeveloped. Again, rebuke will not give them deeper rational ability, however, helping them to understand what is driving them, and helping them understand they do not need to submit to peer pressure, can be incredibly beneficial.
D. Independent Identity: Beliefs, Causes, Ideas and Truth
From 14-19 one of the most important processes takes place. We have learned to deal with puberty and now we are thinking about our identity as a person, as an individual. Who am I and what do I believe? During this age more and more neurons are connecting to our frontal cortex, the place in our brain where rational thought occurs. But, often, these neurons connect and then disconnect. Keep in mind that hormones and emotions are still very powerful at the same time.
The result is that teens can change their beliefs, ideas and understanding of truth from week to week or month to month. Many teens get really passionate about causes during this time. Save the whales, save the polar bears, save the world. They go to protests and shout passionately about what they support, but a month later, when their save the world neuron disconnects, they turn their attention to something new with just as much passion.
At the same time there is also a very powerful urge to be independent of parents, and again, this is a natural process. The body is preparing itself to become a parent. At 13, most teens have the physical ability to pro-create, but not the ability to be responsible parents. But within them is a powerful drive to stand on their own two feet, to prove themselves a man/woman. Oftentimes this process is seen as rebellion, and it may manifest itself as such, but the wise parent also recognizes a natural process at work.
This age can be one of the most detrimental ages to pressure teens into an emotional spiritual experience. I have witnessed dozens of summer camps for teens in which there is a huge emphasis on loud hyped ‘christian’ music, coupled with condemning messages about sexual attraction, pornography and masturbation, smoking and alcohol, and when honest teens repent of having had such thoughts or trying these things, are then told, after saying a ‘sinner’s prayer’ that they are now born again.
The atmosphere is one of huge relief to be free of this guilt and the expectation, that now they will have inner power over all of these areas of their life. Many are baptized as well, and head home to parents overjoyed that they are now a totally changed person. For the vast majority, the euphoria lasts a few weeks or months. When the hype, atmosphere and peer support of the camp is gone, and the sexual drive and secular peer pressure returns with the same force as before, most become disillusioned, under extreme condemnation, and when parents or youth leaders use their camp experience to tell them ‘this is not how a born again person should act’, they either hide and become hypocrites, or rebel and throw God out along with their latest save the planet fad.
This form of child evangelism is a perfect way of inoculating a teen against real ‘christianity’. If this teen had become a partaker of the divine nature, had been truly born again, then they would have had the power to live a changed life (Romans 6:6-7, 2 Peter 1:3). But the Lord will not usurp His specific commands to children, He will not regenerate a child on demand, and He does not recognize our unbiblical practices of using formulas and taking His role in telling a teen they are ‘born again’.
This brings us to our second question.
III. At what age does God consider a person to be ready for an independent relationship with Him?
Modern evangelicals love to use the term ‘age of accountability’. Biblically, God does recognize accountability for children, but that accountability is to Him, through the authority of parents as outlined in my video ‘Are your Children Saved’.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1WZnEr_whA
God never commands a child to answer to Him apart from parents, therefore, God has an age of independence from parents which is taught throughout Scripture and aligns perfectly with modern understandings of stages of cognitive development. If we believe that God designed these stages, then we would expect to see evidence of this particular age referenced throughout the Bible in terms of when He considers a person to be an adult, and therefore, both independent of parents and accountable to Him alone, and this is exactly what we find. The age of adulthood in Scripture is 20.
For example, Leviticus 27:1-7 gives instructions regarding a special vow to dedicate persons to the Lord and the amount in shekels required for each age and gender.
‘…set the value of a male between the ages of twenty and sixty at fifty shekels of silver…if it is a person between five and twenty, set the value of a male at twenty shekels and of a female at ten shekels. If it is a person between one month and five years set the value of a male at five years and that of a female at three shekels of silver. (Leviticus 27:1-7)’
In this passage there are four ages determined for both male and female persons. From one month to five years, from five years to nineteen, from twenty to sixty, and over sixty. Is it just coincidence that these first two stages differentiate between children with no cognitive abilities (0-5yrs), to children with completed cognitive abilities (5-19yrs), and adults thereafter? It should not surprise us that modern understandings of cognitive maturity align perfectly with Scripture.
Consider also the age of twenty in terms of atonement and ransom, two words associated with salvation.
‘11 Then the Lord said to Moses, 12 "When you take a census of the Israelites to count them, each one must pay the Lord a ransom for his life at the time he is counted. Then no plague will come on them when you number them...each one is to give a half shekel...14 All who cross over, those twenty years old or more, are to give an offering to the Lord. (Exodus 30:12-14)’
Only those considered to have reached an age of adulthood were required to 'pay the Lord a ransom' for their life, and 'give an offering to the Lord', those twenty years old and over. Also, children were not required to fight in Israel's army, only those twenty years plus were soldiers (Numbers 1:3-45, 26:2,4, 2 Chronicles 25:5). In regards to serving the Lord in the Temple, only Levites twenty years old and over were allowed to perform these tasks (1 Chronicles 23:24, 27, 2 Chronicles 31:17).
No child under twenty years old was required to make atonement for their sins, this was the responsibility of the father. Under the old covenant of the law, persons under twenty were considered to be under the spiritual authority of their parents and, as in 1 Corinthians 7:14, considered 'holy' or sanctified by their parent's faith.
This age of independence is also clearly illustrated in the story of the blind man Jesus healed in the temple. After the healing the Pharisees interrogated him, and when his answers didn't satisfy them, questioned his parents, asking them, "Is this your son", and "Is this the one you say was born blind" (John 9:19). The parents resorted to claiming the man was no longer under their spiritual authority, but old enough to answer for himself.
‘20 "We know he is our son," the parents answered, "and we know he was born blind. 21 But how he can see now, or who opened his eyes, we don't know. Ask him. He is of age; he will speak for himself."(John 9:20-21)’
John goes on to explain that the parents were afraid to answer because of the consequences, in this case, of being put out of the synagogue, excommunicated, so they put the responsibility and consequence on their son, claiming, 'he is of age'. All of those present recognized that, at a certain age, a person is independent of their parents and responsible to make their own decisions in spiritual matters. And if you still have doubts about the depth of authority of parents, consider this extreme command.
‘18 If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his mother or father and will not listen to them, 19 his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. 20 They shall say to the elders, “This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a profligate (wasteful, immoral) and a drunkard.” 21 Then all the men of his town shall stone him to death. You must purge the evil from among you. (Deuteronomy 21:18-21)’
Please note the following:
1. The son refuses to obey his mother or father, nor will he listen to them. He is still obviously under his parent’s authority and dependent on them.
2. He is old enough to be a profligate, that is a person who is wasteful, immoral and undisciplined, and getting drunk. Therefore, we are not speaking of a young child here. Also, He is of an age where the parents can ‘take hold of him and bring him to the elders’ for judgment.
3. The penalty for refusing to obey his mother and father and living this life-style in disobedience to his parents, is death by stoning.
4. I am not advocating that this command be carried out, but simply underlining the force of God’s command to children and teens to obey their parents, keeping in mind, that Paul continues this command into the New Testament in Ephesians and Colossians.
In Summary
I believe that the main reason for the apostasy of 81% of the children and teens of evangelicals who were told they were born again and baptized while under their parent’s authority, is that these young people were never born again. The reason they were not born again is that the Lord did not consider them of an age when their life belonged to them. No parent or evangelist has the authority to demand that the Holy Spirit take up permanent residence in a child or teen, and God will not go against His own commands.
Does this mean that no person can be born again prior to age 20. No, it does not, for such would also be telling God what He can and cannot do, and just be a form of legalism. We must understand that there are different forms and levels of ‘believing’ depending on the maturity of a child, and that none of these forms of trusting in God deprive a child of salvation. God has given very specific instructions to parents and assurances regarding the salvation of children. If we follow His instructions, we will not be inoculating children and teens from a real experience of new birth, but actually preparing them with a spirit of expectation, for when the Lord will call them to deny self, take up their cross, and follow Him’.
I pray this article has been enlightening for you.
Steve Copland